The first time I heard this episode, I had a real Sesame Street moment. Not because of the content! Definitely not because of the content. No, simply because this episode taught me a new word: Priapism. Thanks Justin! ... I guess.

I bet you all know exactly what’s coming up (pun intended). Maybe the title gave it away, maybe you just know from the fact that it’s episode four, maybe you still wake up in cold sweats every now and again thinking about it. Maybe it’s all three. I mean, I get it. It’s a hard one to forget… Okay, I’ll stop with the terrible puns. As we’ve established by now, you definitely don’t need me to ramble about this episode in another example of written word vomit. Yet, I’m still going to.

Let me start by saying that although I don’t have a specific part referred to maaaany times in this episode, I still felt it as much as I do when watching any fail video including a handrail. The pain! I can only imagine and trust me, hearing the description of everything including the parasitic infection, I imagined.

Speaking of imagining, this week I’m taking you on a journey into the past. My past. Just to see if you can relate to how I felt the first time I listened to this episode. Let me set the scene very quickly. The first thing you should know is that I’ve never been much of a morning person. I might seem awake, but don’t try talking to me before 10 a.m., okay? I also used to live about 1.5 hours from work, which meant I watched a lot of Netflix and listened to music and podcasts on the train. Still with me? Good!

Now imagine that person listening to this episode, and hearing those sounds, at 7 in the morning. Half awake, just staring out of the window, and then, BAM! It was one of those moments where you immediately start wondering if by some evil technical failure your headphones simply stopped working 7.15 minutes into the episode and your phone is now just blasting your podcast at full volume. Because that stuff happens, right? Well, 7-in-the-morning-half-asleep me definitely thought so. Now very awake, one of the first things I did was subtly look around at my fellow commuters. Were they staring at me? Had they heard it too? Did they think I was watching, or maybe even weirder, listening to porn at 7 in the morning? Of course not, chill out girl! And so, after checking the headphones once more, just for good measure, I went back to listening to my adopted son and his colleagues talking about his penis. As one does.

Also, can I be shamelessly thirsty with you guys real quick? If Jane asked me to sit with them and called me honey, I too would be taking someone at that table back to my place…but it wouldn’t be Ryan.

Okay, enjoy episode four!