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The holidays are behind us, a fresh and exciting new year is here. Time to start preparing for the second-best holiday of the year. That’s right, Halloween is only ten months away. What better way to start thinking about your 2023 theme and costume than by listening to this Halloween masterpiece. With its three acts filled with pop culture references, murder and seriously spot on music choices, it has something for everyone.

We start with act one: The Virus. No, not that one! No, this virus leads to the sentence ‘Hey, there’s Dr. Urvidian. Aww, he’s dead’ being said with love. Seriously, who needs another The Walking Dead spin off when this episode exists? Give Jane a gun and we’ll be done with those walkers in less than five episodes. You know it’s true!

As soon as Dr. Urvidian is spotted, Jane makes it her job to turn him into the headless horseman. Which…might not be how that story goes, but I don’t hate it. Just like her ‘Cut my head off. Just like Joan of Arc.’ Seriously, who do I have to bribe to have this script be transformed into the start of a school book? Just let Jane choose a topic and run with it, you cowards. Jane honey, do you want to tell us more about pirates, mummies or the creation of penicillin? Whatever you choose, I bet it’ll be a hell of a lot more entertaining than it’s meant to be. Also far less factually correct and informative, but hey, who needs to know facts when we can just look something up on Wikipedia? Exactly.

Scene change! Act two: The Birds. Don’t be fooled by the title, this act is definitely not only a Hitchcock reference. It also heavily features everyone’s favorite “Christmas” movie. Though, as I say this, I have to admit that I haven’t watched Gremlins yet. I’m sorry, I know, I’m disappointed in myself too. But hey, everyone knows the main plot so even if, like me, you’re behind on your cultural education, you can still enjoy the references. And honestly, I’m pretty sure I’m just going to be disappointed if I watch the movie now and our gang isn’t in any of the scenes.

Short but definitely not sweet is act three: The Game. First, we get Jane shooting Ryan in The Birds. Now, it’s up to Levi and Dr. Urvidian to kill our sweet boy. Not that that’s the challenge at hand, per se, but well…Let’s just say that as soon as they’re given the choice between their lives and Ryan’s, the decision is made. Like, seriously, The Interface isn’t even done talking yet and bam, he’s dead. Thanks for the vote of confidence, Dr. Osolong, though I guess you’re absolutely right to have such low expectations of them. Of course, they would never really do anything to harm each other. Apart from that one time when they all shot each other, of course.